Autumn is the time for transformation and change is inevitable in nature. Soon after all the leaves fall off the trees, the cold winter will show its teeth. As we are getting closer to the ending of another year, some people are facing the winter of their lives. And when the snow melts, the nature awakes, the birds start to sing and the flowers bloom, they will not be there with us to witness it. But it’s ok.
Death is a big part of life, if not the biggest. Osho says that all our fears come from one: the fear of death. This means that death affects all areas of our life, even when nobody is dying! Sometimes we are so afraid of dying that we forget to live!
I have been working hard to accept death and my brain knows and understands it’s a normal part of life, and I think I can say that I am not that terrified to die. I am also doing my best to accept other people’s deaths, because that – unfortunately – is something I can’t control. But this doesn’t make losing someone any easier.
I believe there are two types of events in life: the ones that depend on our actions and the ones that we have no control of. Mostly we are not even aware of all the things that we can influence with our thoughts and actions. As for the events we can’t change… they are usually not OUR business – they are other people’s things and they depend on their thoughts and actions. And then there’s nature, which can sometimes be amazing, but other times we can find it pretty cruel. There are quite a few things in life we can’t change. And those things we need to ACCEPT.
As the seasons change in nature, they also do in our life. Change is always present, nothing ever stays the same. Sometimes change brings warmth and the blooming of flowers, and other times it brings cold harsh winds and snow storms. I think accepting change is the way out of suffering. But it’s not an easy way.
From a Buddhist point of view, suffering comes from attachment. I know, this principle may seem very cold, but it is actually the complete opposite. Buddhism is all about love and compassion – towards all beings. I know what you are thinking now – detachment is not easy when you are losing someone you love, and I agree. But what is easy anyway? There is no easy road out of suffering.
Don’t worry, I am getting to the more optimistic part 🙂
The sun always shines after the rain
There is one more very important thing we can learn from nature: that no matter how hard the rain falls, no matter how bad the storm, the sun will always shine again! 🙂 We will get through the hard times. And we will learn a lot.
What strikes me the most when someone dies, is that I will never see that person again. And then regret usually kicks in, regret about all the things that I didn’t say to this person, all the time I wasted instead of spending it with them, regret of all the fights I had with them… We all have the same regrets. So what can we learn from that? To be grateful for everyone we love and still have in our lives, to spend time with them while we still can, to not waste time for stupid fights and appreciate every moment we have with them. Change your behavior and actions while they are still here.
And if a person that is close to you is dropping the last leaves off their tree and is preparing for their winter, be there to keep them warm.
Goodbyes are hard, but be grateful if you get the chance to say goodbye.